Polyglot Problems 21 Hilarious Problems That Only Polyglots Understand

Polyglot Problems 21 Hilarious Problems That Only Polyglots Understand Polyglot Problems: 21 Hilarious Problems That Only Polyglots Understand Do you speak multiple languages?Did you ever expect that it would be anything less than pure, multilingual bliss?Whether you grew up speaking several languages  or you  took the time to learn them  in adulthood, you may know by now that being multilingual isnt always a walk in the park.Sure, most of the time being multilingual is great, but every now and then  there are some problems you encounter simply  because  you know multiple languages.Even if youre not fluent in all of your languages, youve probably still come across some #polyglotproblems. Same goes for  bilingual people, by the way. Were all united in the joys and challenges of language learning. What Are Polyglot Problems?Before we get into that, lets  travel back in time to 1997â€"way back when the hashtag was still called a pound sign.Here, well find that the late rapper, Mr. Notorious B.I.G., might have been on to something with his hit Mo Money, Mo Problems. Through  this catchy tune, he and his mates gave  a detailed account of the struggles they faced as their  burgeoning celebrity status caused them  to acquire more and more money. Its a tale for the ages.Now, its unlikely that a polyglot will encounter many of the same issues faced by hip-hop superstars, but theres a theme here. The more you have of something, the more conflict youre going to face.Languages are no exception.As such, the multilinguals of the world took to the Twitterverse to air  their grievances. From this came the rise  of the now popular hashtag in the language learning community: #polyglotproblems.Its hard being brilliant and ambitious, isnt it? But you should  expect that youll have to jump over some hurdles if you take the road less traveled.  We could all sit in the corner of our bedrooms and let life pass us by so that we dont run into challenges  (except for abject loneliness, of course).  Or, we can choose to be bold and adventurous and #slay any problems that are sure to come our way.Lets be honest, would we really even take the time to learn several languages if  they werent something to conquer? We thrive on the challenges. We look forward to them. Besides, many of the problems arent even problems, but merely hilarious nuisances.And if were really being honest, its kind of fun to complain about issues  that we know will fly right over most monolingual heads. Its not to be mean. Its just that no one else really  understands woes of a polyglots life, do they?You spend your days  studying and memorizing, living your life in front of a computer screen or beneath  a pile of books. Youre not alone. We understand. We polyglots  have  issues and well cry about them  if we want to, in several different languages if we must, and theres nothing anyone can do about it.So, ready to vent yet? Good.  Lets do this.Polyglot Problems: 21 Hilarious Problems That Only Polyglots Understand1. People try to test your knowledge.You speak how many languages?! Say something in ___! Now in ___! Now in ___! Somehow yo ur hard work and practice  becomes something of a parlor trick for friends, family and sometimes strangers.But polyglots  are  a resilient  bunch. Dont huff and puff next time you hear this request. Smile, show off and make everyone around you a little jealous. They asked for it, anyway.2. You mix up languages.Je voudrais (French) un vaso de agua (Spanish), per favore (Italian).  (Id like a glass of water, please).  This is a pretty common occurrence for people who speak multiple languages.Sometimes, you  arent sure of a word and replace  it with another foreign word, and sometimes your brain just rattles off foreign words at will, it seems.Either way, when this happens dont beat yourself up. Just try to slow down when you speak, and  the words (in just one language, hopefully) will come to you more easily.3. Subtitles give you anxiety.*cries because I dont know if I should start watching my shows in Spanish, French or Korean* #polyglotproblems ??baby grass?? (@astrangegal) July 24, 2016Its no secret that we polyglots  like to use  subtitles when  watching TV or movies to maximize our productivity. The trouble is, we never really know which language to choose. There are just too many options. Its enough to make you toss your remote and give up on TV forever.Next time this happens, try just adding subtitles (or  audio) in the language that you struggle with the most. Learning through entertainment is one of the bestâ€"and most pleasantâ€"ways to focus on the trickier language issues youve been trying to avoid.4. You feel insulted by bad translations.So, youve decided on which subtitles to use. As youre watching your show  you realize that youre much more fluent than you thought, because every few seconds youre shouting at the TV, Thats not what that means!Nothing sends a polyglot over the edge like a bad translation. Its unacceptable and someone should pay. Perhaps you can write an angry letter shaming the translator for  their less than perfect  work.5. They o nly like you cause youre a native.This happens often in the language learning community. People seek you out solely because youre a native English speaker. But youre more than your language abilities. Youre funny, creative, a good listener, loyal. The list goes on.Maybe your new friend will learn to love you for who you are, but as of now, they just want you for  your vocab.6. You only like them cause theyre nativeCant really get too mad at that first guy, can you?  You probably have a friend for every language that you speak.It doesnt mean youre a  bad person. As long as youre kind and consistent, a genuine friendship is likely to flourish anyway, and youll have a language buddy for life.7. but they only speak to you in English.except if they only speak to you in English. This union is now a waste of your time. Find someone else whos willing to split the time evenly so you can both benefit from the relationship.8. You know the word in every language except your native one.Can say i t in 3 foreign languages, can ´t say it in my native #PolyglotProblems #AlmostPolyglot Emil Jönsson (@BlackAce919) July 18, 2016Were so focused on achieving fluency that we study every and anything we can. We know massive amounts of  vocabulary in the foreign languages  weve learned, so much so that  sometimes we know  words for things that we never even learned in our native language.Its always a little funny when you can identify an object in several languages, but then you realize you actually have no idea what its called in the language youve been speaking your entire life.9. You want to learn a new language while still struggling with your current ones.Our ambition can go into overdrive at times.There are several reasons why we might decide that we want to pick up a new language while were currently studying  others:  travel, competition, curiosity, love, work and many more. We want to be able to talk to everyone. It drives us crazy to say Im sorry. I dont understand.Still, sl ow down. Cramming never helps  anything.Perfect the ones youve got right now.Life is long. Theres plenty of time to learn others.10. Reading does not mean comprehension.Youve succeeded. Youre able to read books and documents in French, German and Korean  seamlessly. Theres just one problem: you only understand 50% of it.Reading is a  whole new beast. You encounter  new words and you also encounter  old words used in ways that you cant make sense of. Its stressful. It can make you feel like youve learned absolutely nothing.Its normal. Besides, if youre confident enough to read books and documents in a foreign language, youre much  further along than youre letting yourself believe.11.  Mediocrity has become an  unlikely ally.There are some polyglots who seem to have superpowers and can speak all of their learned languages at near-native fluency. Most of us cant do that. We want to but it can be a bit much.Its quite normal to set a goal for near-native fluency in one or two languages a nd decide to just be pretty okay at all the rest. This isnt failure. Its just keeping your sanity.12. That internal battle when Google asks if it should translate the page.What do you do? Do you accept the challenge or do you go native? Theres some important stuff on that website. You cant afford any misinterpretations.Oh, but youre so much better at the language now. You might even learn a word or two now that  youve mastered context. You  did come to this page knowing it wouldnt be in English but you didnt expect Google to show up and give a choice.  Now what do you do?Your finger hovers back and forth over yes and no. You have to make a decision, and you have to make it soon. Theres no time to waste. You close your eyes, and you click.13. They think that you dont understand them.This is always fun.Sometimes youll be in a place where someone  will start talking about you in their language, thinking you dont  understand. People should really stop doing that. Havent they seen a sing le television show or movie? Its just never safe to assume.If this has ever happened to you, hopefully it was a kind or benign comment. That actually happens sometimes. But if someone is talking trash about you, well, theres no better time to practice oral communication than when youre giving someone the shock of their life.14. When you speak to someone in your target language and they respond  in English.Its like someone has just burst your bubble.  When this happens we feel foolish, and a little bit insulted. However, many times, people will speak English because they think theyre helping you. Or, maybe, they just want to practice English themselves.If this happens, and youve still got even a shred of confidence left, try to pick the conversation back up in your target language. Its the only way youre going to get better.15. People think you have  Dissociative Identity Disorder.For every language I have a slightly different personality. When Im bored I name them. #crazy #polyglotp roblems #whounderstands Marcus Miller (@Marquisdetour) August 6, 2016In one language youre timid. In one language youre pragmatic. In one language youre a comedian. Its not uncommon.Many of us dance between personalities as we switch languages. Most of the time we dont even realize it. Youre not crazy. There have been a ton of studies trying to figure out why this occurs. Just embrace it as being part of the job.16.  Its hard to be in multicultural locales.Ever been in a place and you hear several languages you know being spoken at once? That happens quite often to polyglots living in major cities. The brain goes topsy-turvy  trying to figure out which language to focus on.In this situation, pick the one where youre strongest. That way youll be able to hear the words with clarity (as opposed to it sounding like garble if youre  still in the learning stages) and you might be able to pull out some words or phrases you havent learned yet, and stick them on your to-do list to learn late r.17. You try to translate idioms to no avail.Who has a good example of these? #PolyglotProblems pic.twitter.com/6MGmhs3KI9 italki (@italki) June 28, 2016Yeah, its terrible when youve got a perfect idiom to whip out but you just cant.If youre trying to tell your Japanese  friends that theres no cow on the ice (ingen ko pÃ¥ isen)  which means theres nothing to worry about in Swedish, you might be better off just being direct or learning an  idiom that has a similar underlying meaning.The Swedes are right, by the way. Theres really nothing to worry about. Embrace the struggle. Its part of the process. In due time, this will all come to you like a roll with butter  (bulka z maslem),  as we say in Polish.18. You panic when studying one language because youre worried youll forget the others.Its simply not true, but weve all been there.You put so much focus on one language. You spend hours, days, weeks or months studyingâ€"and then you stop in a panic thinking of the other languages that arent getting your attention. Trust your brain. Its a lot more reliable than wed like to believe.Your sentences may sometimes sound like a language smorgasbord (see problem 2), but that goes to show you that all the words are in there. Take your time with each one. Set a schedule and follow it. This  way, youll know that even though youre not focusing on the others now, youll definitely get to them later.19. You say polyglot, they think polygamist.People who arent language enthusiasts most likely have never even heard the word polyglot before.Since our human brains like to make sense of things, theirs might just substitute polyglot with the other poly word it knows, and so now this other person is just kind of shocked and bemused.If youre met with awkward, uncomfortable looks when you say that youre a polyglot, just assure that  person that, no, you do not have several lovers. Though, if you did, none of them would speak the same language.20. Youve  thought about learning Dothraki.O r Valyrian. Or Klingon. Or any of the other made-up  languages associated with popular fictional  series. Lets be honest, we all want to sound as cool as Dany Targaryen when she shouts the Valyrian command dracarys (breath fire) to her dragon, Drogon.As a polyglot, you simply dont want to be left out of the language loop, even if youd  only be one of five people in the entire world who speaks the language outside of the presence of a film crew.If youre perfectly fine  being the super-awesome person in the room who doesnt have to read the subtitles when watching Game of Thrones, then were fine with it, too.21. Your friends  just dont get you.Youre not doing this for school or for work, but simply for internal glory.You want to be the ultimate language master of the world. You want to  increase  your  brain function and expand  your mindset.Some people just dont get that. Some people wouldnt put that much hard work and dedication into something  without the expectation of a tangible r eward. Thats fine for them.We, on the other hand, will let our passion for languages continue to drive us. We may get some funny looks for turning down a happy hour or staying in on the weekend so we can practice, but thats okay.Sure, we may have some #polyglotproblems from time to time.In the end, well have the fulfillment we need from the languages we love.So, do what makes you happy. Thats all anyone can ask for.Oh, and be sure to let us know all about  your  polyglot problems on Facebook and Twitter! And One More ThingSomething else polyglots have in common is that they love using FluentU. FluentU makes it possible to learn languages  from music videos, commercials, news and inspiring talks.With FluentU, you learn real languagesâ€"the same way that natives  speak them. FluentU has a wide variety of videos like movie trailers, funny commercials and web series, as you can see here:FluentU App Browse Screen.FluentU has interactive captions that let you tap on any word to see an i mage, definition, audio and useful examples. Now native language content is within reach with interactive transcripts.Didnt catch something? Go back and listen again. Missed a word? Hover your mouse over the subtitles to instantly view definitions.Interactive transcript for Carlos Baute song.You can learn all the vocabulary in any video with FluentUs learn mode. Swipe left or right to see  more examples for the word you’re learning.FluentU Has Quizzes for Every VideoAnd FluentU always keeps track of vocabulary that you’re learning. It uses that vocab to give you a 100% personalized experience by recommending videos and examples.Start using FluentU on the website with your computer or tablet  or, better yet,  download the FluentU app from  the iTunes store  or Google Play store.